Praise & Worship

Praise (Encore!), 2024

Oil on canvas

9" x 12"

Last month I got to experience something new and wonderful - my first Christian concert! Singing songs to God (A.K.A. “Praise & Worship”) is not something foreign to me. I love to sing songs to the Lord… loudly. Seriously, just give me an excuse to praise God and I’m all over it… or don’t, I’ll probably get excited and sing and shout anyways ;). I have participated in lots of Praise and Worship sessions; from multi-day Christian conferences, to intimate worship nights at my friend Betty’s house. I’ve even helped lead Worship (the singing portion at the start of a church service) at my church on occasion. But this was different. This was my first honest-to-goodness, amplified, stadium-scale, worship, concert! And let me tell you, it was an experience! 

(Worship Night)

In my life B.C. (before Christ), I used to love going to rock concerts and was somewhat of a frequent flyer. Being united in purpose with hundreds of strangers was a wonderful feeling. My whole life I had felt like an outsider and the camaraderie that I experienced at concerts was so comforting. It was as though there was an unspoken knowing that came upon you as soon as you passed thorough the security checkpoint and crossed the threshold of the stadium. You didn’t need to say a word to anyone you just knew that every single person was there for the exact same reason you were - to hang on every word, and every note, of every song. We were there to live and breathe and experience live the recorded melodies that had sustained us. These songs were more than just tracks on a CD or grooves in vinyl. They were the anthems of our lives. These songs were our source of joy and comfort and their writers our closest companions. They rejoiced with us in our times of revelry, comforted us through break-ups, and cried with us in our darkest moments alone in our rooms. They were the superhuman oracles that somehow knew the secret feelings of our hearts and sang the soundtrack of our lives. These rockstars were our gods. We came to be in their presence, hoping to have a brief encounter - a touch, a word, a signature, one divine moment that we could cherish for the rest of our lives. We came to have the melodies of our hearts sung back to us and in return we would pour out every ounce of our sweat, and breath, and adoration at the top of our lungs to the untouchable-super-stars who so kindly doled them out to us. 

This is Praise. This is worship. Of course I didn’t understand that at the time. I didn’t know that I had effectively elevated these human musicians and their art to the degree of idols in my life. I didn’t know that they could be. They didn’t resemble the slides I had seen in Art History class of paintings of Egyptian gods and they certainly didn’t look like the teeny-tiny stone Venus of Willendorf. Even the idea that modern things (or people) could be idols seemed far-fetched to my college-educated American mind. Idolatry, worship, these were things that crazy cultists did, not ordinary people. It’s actually kind of funny (sad funny, not haha funny) that the thought didn’t occur to me since we even refer to celebrities as “idols” in my country …American Idol anyone?

 

In her book No Other Gods Kelly Minter does a beautiful job of defining modern day idolatry and challenges the reader to identify these strongholds within their own heart.  I had the pleasure of walking through this study-book as a young Christian with my first Bible study group. *Shout out to my study buddies :) I love you ladies!* In the first chapter of her book, Kelly shares a quote by Ken Sande which reads:

 

“Most of us think of an idol as a statue of wood, stone, or metal worshiped by pagan people. … In biblical terms, it is something other than God that we set our heart on (Luke 12:29; 1 Cor. 10:19), that motivates us (1 Cor. 4:5), that masters and rules us (Ps. 119:133; Eph. 5:5), or that we trust, fear, or serve (Isa. 42:17; Matt 6:24; Luke 12:4-5)." (No Other Gods page 14).

Kelly then goes on in Session 2 to pose the powerful question: “who or what are you putting your hope in to rescue, save, or fulfill you?” (No Other Gods page 31).

These songs and their creators were my source of joy, and hope, and comfort. They sustained me. They were my guiding compass and I modeled my life after the theologies found in their lyrics. In short - I made them my god. I regularly came to the altar to pour out worship to my gods. And that feeling of unity I was so hungry for? It was a thing called “fellowship.” But like I said, I didn’t know that at the time. Fellowship, worship, praise I had no understanding of these concepts (within a Christian context). I had no vocabulary for these feelings. All I knew was that I was hungry, nay, STARVING for them!

Now, please, don’t misunderstand me; there is nothings wrong with liking music or going to concerts. All musicians are not evil, neither are all celebrities (though some of them may be). I am the one who had turned them into idols in my life. I had put them on the throne of my heart. Just as an aside, people are capable of turn anything into an idol - the good, the bad, even the amoral (Kelly Minter articulates this beautifully in her book, you really should check it out). 

I believe we are all programmed with a longing for God and the things of God and it is very easy to plug other things into that slot to try and satiate that hunger… especially if you don’t know what it is! Even people who profess to be Christian are susceptible to this trap. The problem arises from the fact that “other things” are not God and as such they are ill-equipped to provide what only He can. 

Like many things in life, my brain puts this in “food terms.” Consider the potato chip. Hypothetically, you could live on potato chips… you’d become horribly malnourished, your body and mind would probably experience strange side-effects and dysfunction from not having real vitamins and nutrients, but technically you could survive. At least, for a little bit. I had tried to derive all my spiritual nourishment from a genre of music; an inanimate, created, thing that had no love for me and could only offer what I projected onto it. I had tried to place its authors on a pedestal and make them my ultimate best friends, though they had no idea I even existed. Not to mention that they were NOT superhuman-mind-reading-oracles, but instead were merely humans just like me. The crazy thing is that GOD THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE wanted to be my friend the entire time! He wanted to be my confidant! He wanted to comfort me in my moments of sadness and smile with me in my moments of joy! He actually knew the secrets of my heart and longed to share those with me and the secrets of Heaven too! He was standing there the entire time offering a peace that surpasses understanding and an unconditional love that no human is even capable of… and forgiveness, and grace, and life! Show me a radio hit that can do that! Show me a human that can do that!

It took a while, after saying: “ok God, I wanna be your friend too,” to connect the dots. Slowly though, it became more clear and I began to understand. My affinity for music  wasn’t just a passion for one particular genre, it was rooted in a deep love of Praise and Worship that I didn’t even know I had. I came hardwired with that love, despite the fact that I had no idea what those things were! I am a worshipper! And the more I participated, the more I could feel it - like a vitamin packed meal of super-foods hitting my blood stream. And that comfort and camaraderie that I so longed for? I had been consuming the earthly counterfeit - a pale facsimile that told me I should be content to be a member of an audience; that I should just be grateful to stand at the feet of humans, next to other hurting humans who were sad and starving too. But God’s version was SO MUCH MORE! Worshipping God in fellowship with other believers extended the invitation to experience a reflection of Heaven on Earth, not just as a member of the audience, but as a member of His FAMILY!

A familiar excitement filled me as I approached the Spokane Arena. My steps quickened and my high-heels clicked on the stairs that lead to the entrance. I passed through the security checkpoint easy peasy. I smiled to myself and to the security guard performing pat-downs, “this is not my first rodeo, son,” I thought to myself. “No purse, nothing in my pockets, just my ticket and my car keys on a lanyard around my neck.” My friend and I followed the large numerals painted on the concrete walls of the stadium concourse as we eagerly searched for our section. “There it is!” I exclaimed, “that way to J 215!" With our goal now in sight, we hurried towards a massive opening that revealed stairs which led to the upper mezzanine. In the days leading up to the concert I had wondered how I would feel in this moment. I wasn’t all that familiar with the band headlining the show. I liked them but they weren’t my “all-time favorite” worship band and, truth be told, I didn’t even know any of their songs (with the exception of their big radio hit). But as we ascended the stairs I could feel a sensation filling my spirit, growing with each step up. Something was about to happen. The feeling was exciting and palpable just like before but for a different reason. I wasn’t excited to see the band, or for the potential opportunity to have my t-shirt signed. No, I was excited for another chance to sing to God, this time on a massive scale that I had never experienced before! The stadium was huge! It was so large, in fact, that a brief moment of vertigo hit me as I surveyed the location of our seats. I instinctively leaned back and grabbed hold of my seat to steady myself. I cautiously peered over the drop, and as my eyes scanned the massive expanse I began to gain a true appreciation for the scale of the event and just how many people were in attendance. From my high vantage point I could make out tiny people down below. They shuffled about all trying to find their place and, though they were all too far away to identify, I could immediately feel the recognition in my heart - “these aren’t thousands of strangers,” I exclaimed to myself, “oh my word, those are all my brothers and sisters!” My excitement grew as I realized we were ALL there for one reason - to sing to God (even the bands)! And there were thousands of us! 

Photo by Sebastian Bach 2024

The songs and the time seemed to pass too quickly as is so often the case at concerts. It felt like I had just blinked and the opening act was already halfway through their set. The singer began the process of graciously preparing the way for the next act, extending his gratitude to the city of Spokane for being such a lovely audience, and giving God the glory all the while. It was then that the lead singer called for us all to participate in a symbolic act. He requested that every member of the audience hold up their cell phone light and let it shine. We obliged. As I scanned the stadium, from my vantage point in the nose-bleeds, a marvelous scene was revealed. Thousands of tiny points of light emerged in the darkness. Some where attached to miniature figures that I could make out in the ambient pink glow of the stage lights. Others seemed to float in the darkness like stars in the night sky. For a moment, it was as though the roof had disappeared and the cosmos had flooded in. It was in this moment of awe that God spoke to my spirit: “this is what praise is.” My eyes began to fill with tears as I realized what He meant. Though they resembled stars, they were not. Each point of light was a human being, a human heart crying out, “that was so GOOD, Lord!” and “please come and do it AGAIN!” This cry had nothing to do with the music. It was a declaration of God’s goodness.

Photo by Sebastian Bach 2024

I had seen this procedure play out at secular concerts before, large crowds excitedly applauding, lighters ablaze (back in my day we used cigarette lighters not cellphones). We all cheered together, praising all that we had seen and experienced, hoping for just a little more… “just one more song, let us stay in this magical moment just a little longer, give us an encore! We need an encore!” And we knew the unspoken concert contract - that if we cheered loud enough for long enough, they would have to honor our request! But this was not that. God is not a human performer. We do not make God do anything. No, this was something different. You see, God does not give us good gifts because we twist His arm. He does not oblige because we scream at the top of our lungs. He gives because He is our loving Father and it is His delight to give us good gifts… over, and over again! We lifted our lights in the darkness to cheer for God, for His goodness, for all the good gifts He has given, and for all the blessings to come. We cheered for Him. We cheered for His encore. 

Photo by Sebastian Bach 2024

I drank in the beauty of that moment and tried to memorize it, to make it last as long as I could. I knew I needed to paint this. My eyes traced the lights in-between the rows, attempting to record the structure of the stadium. With each breath I fought to hold fast to the colors and the feelings of that moment. I tried desperately to record it all in my mind and sketch it onto my heart. Then, my heart reminded me of God’s Word, “let your light shine before others that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven.” (Matthew 5:16). This might seem like an obvious verse for such a moment but God was revealing it to me on a whole new level. Our greatest testimony is not our best “why you should choose Jesus” argument, nor is it our Christian “origin story.” Our greatest testimony is how we live our lives and how we treat others. When we let His love shine in our actions, in our conversations, in our thoughts, and in our deeds, we are living out Romans 12:1 and presenting ourselves as a living offering to God… all so that He may be glorified. This is true worship.

Photo by Sebastian Bach 2024

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. - Romans 12:1 (NIV)

Photo by Sebastian Bach 2024