The Victory Part 3: The Vision

Victory in Jesus (close up), 2023

Acrylic on watercolor paper

16.5” x 21”

It’s a tricky thing putting amazingly profound spiritual experiences into words. Pictures are my preferred form of communication and, not only that, there are just so many things that God did at the concert that I want to share with you! Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been trying to sort through them all… or at least untangle the big ones. In my life it feels like God never just does one thing, He does 10, and for those 10 to come top pass, there are 100 other things that He had to bring into alignment first. Thank God I have the Holy Spirit to help me figure out which is the “better” thing to share. After several long talks with God (and with my editor), I determined that it is absolutely critical that I tell you about the vision.

(Photo courtesy of Elizabeth Croonquist)

The morning of the concert I received a vision from the Lord. “A vision, Angela?” You might be thinking to yourself, “are you sure? Don’t you mean like an idea or an inspiration?” No, I mean an honest to goodness vision. I have heard other people describe their visions from God - their eyes are open and they see crystal clear images before them, sometimes as though pictures have been projected onto the wall. While I have seen things in the Spirit with my eyes open, this was not like that. My eyes were closed and the image found its form in my mind’s-eye. It came gradually, as though God was bringing it into focus, slowly revealing new levels of detail. But there is no doubt in my mind that what I saw was a vision from the Lord.  

I had decided to do things differently the morning of September 21st. I would not stress-pack or write checklists. No, I would continue the healthy routine that I had established. I would put God first.

My bedroom is very small which is a blessing - it means that my back patio, and the glorious beauty of God’s creation is only three steps away at any given time. I rolled out of bed and rolled open my sliding glass door. It’s funny the difference that opening a door can make.  I always feel as though I am unveiling a new creation, an entirely new piece titled: New Day That The Lord Has Made. What was God up to while I was sleeping? The warmth of the morning sunshine greeted me the moment I crossed the threshold. “Wow! Thank you, Lord, this one is beautiful!” I thought to myself. You never know what you are going to get in the fall here in Northern Idaho; rain, snow, hail, or in this case, a lingering remnant of summer. I popped myself down on my favorite porch sitting chair. The forest green camp chair, which I “borrowed” from my sister, has become a permanent fixture on my back patio and it gets a lot of use. It is an auxiliary work station that houses all of my paints and brushes when I am creating outdoors, it is a cabaña for Tucker and Dale to sun themselves, and it is the perfect place to just come and sit and be alone with my thoughts. I closed my eyes and I smiled and allowed all of the sensations of this fresh new day wash over me. I thanked the Lord for who He is and all that He had done to bring me to this moment.

Early on in our conversations, I had told Dorene that the art component of the concert would only work if God blessed it. This is just a fact for all my pieces - unless God blesses the work of my hands, it ain’t gonna work. On top of this, the time constraint of the concert was significant. An hour is not near enough time for me to render a painting from start to finish, let alone a masterpiece. My average session length is 3-4 hours and most of my pieces require multiple sessions, sometimes taking months to complete. Even if hypothetically I were able to create an entire painting in the allotted amount of time, there was still no guarantee that the painting would be a good one. Bad paintings happen. That is just a fact of life for novices and skilled artists alike. Yep, there was no amount of planning or checklists that could save me this time. The only way this was going to work was if God blessed it and the only way that was going to happen was if I had my priorities straight and my eyes on Him.

Normally, when preparing for “important” events, my standard operating procedure is to do everything within my power to make sure things go smoothly. I practice, and rehearse, having planned down to the last detail (usually for months). I pack, and repack, and write checklists on my phone and on little notepads in my purse. I attempt to anticipate every potential need and problem that may arise. I try and strive, through expending tremendous amounts of energy, to will positive outcomes into existence. Some of you reading this right now may be thinking to yourself, “wow, Angela, all that obsessive planning and preparation sounds pretty exhausting… also, I think you may have some control issues.” Well, friend, you’re not wrong. While the “giving it my all” approach has sometimes yielded wonderful results, it has some serious drawbacks. Exhaustive planning and preparation can be effective… unless something flies out of left-field that you didn’t plan for… or the Holy Spirit decides to take you in a totally different direction. And pouring every ounce of your energy into a task can be satisfying… unless you would like to actually be mentally present for the important thing (and not existing solely in some sort of primitive survival state fueled by sleep-deprivation and adrenaline). The truth is I could sit here and list pros and cons for you all day (as I told you, lists are my jam) but one fact trumps all of these things: unless the Lord establishes it (whatever the it may be) all that planning and striving don’t mean a dang thing. Psalm 127:1 (the unofficial Angela translation). 

“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.” Psalm 127:1 (NIV). 

Dorene and I had spent almost a year planning this event. We had done everything we could in the natural to prepare but I knew deep down in my gut that my normal strategy just wasn’t going to cut it this time. I had to approach this event differently because this event was different.

Dorene Hard at Work - charcoal gesture drawing from our collaborative practice session

For five days I made a point to carve out time in my crazy schedule to take walks with the Lord in the woods. The forest is a wonderful place to enjoy God’s presence. I find it is a place where I can escape all the noise and distractions of the day; a place where I can be still and listen. There was no timeframe on these God walks and my only goal was to put myself in a quiet place where I could hear Him speak. For five days I did this and for five days He poured out revelation and encouragement to me. He spoke to me in my spirit through prayer. He illustrated His thoughts for me with His art - the landscape. And He spoke to me through scripture, specifically Psalm 23. Each day He highlighted new words and phrases, unfolding tremendously profound revelation sometimes all contained in a single word!

The morning of the concert I made the conscious (all be it counterintuitive) choice to continue to put God first in my day. Making time for the Lord was important. I had the evidence. The previous five days released a tidal wave of confirmation testifying to that fact. And this morning was no different than all the others - nothing was more important than spending time with the Lord. I say I made a conscious choice because, make no mistake, it was a choice. Every ounce of my being wanted to obsessively stress-pack my supplies and furiously try to cram a year’s worth of acrylic painting practice into one day. Instead, I opened the door. I sat down in my chair and slowly breathed in the fresh air. “The Lord is my shepherd, I have what I need,” I reminded myself. I wanted so desperately to run back inside and grab my easel for just one last round of practice painting, you know to be super sure I had it down. But instead, I grabbed my Bible and a cup of coffee. “The Lord is my shepherd, I have what I need,” I repeated again. I tried to turn my eyes to the beauty that was all around me but little distractions kept pulling my attention away; Tucker and Dale playing in the grass, Dad marching across the back 40 doing yard work. I decided to put my headphones on and get lost in worship. After all, I didn’t need to be on the trail to enjoy God’s presence it was just easier. “The Lord is my shepherd, I have what I need.” Scrolling through one of my more recent Worship music playlists, I quickly pulled up the perfect song on my phone. The song, “First Thing’s First” by Consumed by Fire.

 

[Verse 1]

All the things that I have held dear

The vanities that whispered in my ear

What would I do if they all disappeared?

Riches and fame, and all that they could buy

I've come to find they never satisfy

What would I gain if my soul's the price?

[Pre-Chorus]

I don't wanna love what the world loves

I don't wanna chase what the world does

I only want You

I only want You

[Chorus]

First thing's first, I seek Your will

Not my own, surrender all my wants to You

Keep the first thing first

To live Your truth, walk Your ways

Set my eyes, Lord, I fix my face on You

All my desires reversed

To keep the first thing first

[Verse 2]

I give it all, my life an offering

My heart is Yours so havе Your way in me

Your Kingdom's all I wanna seek

I couldn’t help but tear up as I sang along and my voice choked and cracked as the words came out of my mouth. By the time I reached the chorus I was crying. I closed my eyes and hugged my Bible tight as I sang along with the chorus:

 “First thing's first, I seek Your will

Not my own, surrender all my wants to You…”

Part of me was confidently declaring this and part of me was begging God to help the crooked places of my heart to catch up (you know, the places that desperately wanted to rush back inside to pack and re-pack all my art supplies 5 times). I sang, and cried, and prayed, and praised Him, and waited for my straggling feelings to catch up. I can’t remember what songs I listened to next or what all exactly I prayed - only that His will would be done, not mine. I do, however, remember very clearly what happened next. As my eyes were closed tight, in that moment of worship, an image began to appear. I saw a figure standing at the very top of a mountain. The picture revealed itself gradually. I’m not sure if you have ever seen photos being processed in an old-school darkroom, but it resembled an exposure on photo emulsion paper coming to life in a bath of developer. The figure and the mountain were in strong silhouette and appeared first. The person was standing confidently in a pose of triumph, arms fully extended, hands raised high into the sky. I couldn’t make out the exact colors only the values (lights and darks) and as I peered more closely more context come into focus. I could see other mountain ranges in the background but they were lower and shrouded in a hazy atmospheric perspective. Then the Lord spoke to my heart and told me, “this is the victory.” I couldn’t believe it - an honest to goodness vision and an explanation of what I was seeing! “But wait a minute, Lord, what about Psalm 23? You know, what we practiced. What happened to the quiet waters? The Good Shepard? The cute sheep?!” 

The Good Shepherd, 2023

Acrylic on watercolor paper

17” x 22”

I quickly picked up my Bible to turn to Psalm 23 to see if this was some new revelation. “I sure don’t remember mountains being in there but maybe I missed them,” I thought to myself. I quickly flipped through the pages of my Bible searching for Psalm 23. It was in this enthusiastic hunt that my hand and my eyes landed on Psalm 18. 

Interestingly enough, I had marked this section in a previous study session

Psalm 18 

(v. 1-2)

1I love you, Lord, my strength.

2The Lord is my rock,

my fortress, and my deliverer,

my God, my rock where I seek refuge,

my shield and the horn of my salvation,

my stronghold.

I read on… 

31For who is God besides the Lord?

And who is a rock? Only our God.

32God — he clothes me with strength

and makes my way perfect.

33He makes my feet like the feet of a deer

and sets me securely on the heights.

Victory in Jesus, 2023

Acrylic on watercolor paper

16.5” x 21”

Then it all became clear. Jesus was the mountain. “For who is God besides the Lord? And who is a rock? Only our God.” God is the rock and the victory comes from having my feet firmly planted on Him. This vision wasn’t just the victory of the concert, though it was that too. This was ALL the victories. It was the feeling of every victory that I had experienced with Jesus and all the ones to come. This was a picture of salvation and the freedom of deliverance, and not just mine but the feeling for every person who puts their faith in Jesus. It was a picture of Jesus’ ultimate victory over sin and death. And it was a picture of the unimaginable heights that He will take us to, in this life and the next. This was the victory in Jesus.