Portrait of an Open Heart

Hello, everyone! I’m super excited to share my latest self-portrait and the epiphanies that came with it. This piece has been over 33 hours in the making, so I’m also pretty excited that it is actually finished!

Portrait of an Open Heart, 2020

Pen & acrylic paint on paper

18” x 24” 

The inspiration for this drawing came to me during “living room church.” I, like many Christians these days, attend Sunday service via live-stream. This image floated across my mind as I soaked up the worship music on my couch. 

Although the image in my mind’s eye depicted me, the true subject was the open “heart door.” I really wanted to highlight this area and make it a focal point. I decided a mixed media approach would be ideal to produce this effect. For the rendering of myself, I chose Bic pen. The crisp black ink on white parer provided a clean backdrop for my heart to shine. I then selected bright acrylic paint for the open heart door. The joyful vibrance of this paint was perfect to share the warmth of a sunny day. As hoped, it brought a burst of light and life to the true subject.

Initially, I felt that this image was all about what we can share with the world when our heart is “open.”  Matthew 5:16 instructs us to let our light shine before others (“In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven” - Matthew 5:16 NIV). This sounds all well and good but in actual practice it can be quite terrifying. Before we can shine our inner light, we must first be willing to actually open up and connect with other people. No one can see your beautiful light from behind a locked door! The effect can be tremendous, however, if we do find the courage to reveal the hidden contents of our heart. You never know who may be craving the sunshine you have been keeping all to yourself. I felt good about sharing my idea and my light with the world, so I began to work.

It was during my initial sketching that another significance revealed itself to me. Jesus’ words, “I stand at the door and knock,” came to my mind while I was blocking in the foundation. I found the full verse (appropriately from the Book of Revelation) in my trusty Bible app. The verse reads:

“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.” 

Revelation 3:20 (NIV)

It hit me. Just as important as what we allow to come out of our hearts is what we allow in. Jesus knocks at many heart doors, but it is up to the heart’s owner to decide whether to let Him in. This one seems pretty straight forward to my Christian brain. Ok, I accepted Jesus, check, I’m done. This, however, is not a one-and-done type decision; it is a daily choice. Perhaps even a moment-to-moment choice. Will I choose to listen when Jesus says, “here I am! Anyone home?” Or will I ignore what He is calling my attention to? Will I throw open the door immediately, first thing in the morning? Will I invite Him in to share every-day things and decisions?

Today, I chose to share a piece of my heart with you and all of the internet. It is an intimidating thing for sure, but I feel pretty good about it because I’m not doing it alone.